One: Some people don’t know how to apologise, or what an apology means. They say things like, ‘If anything I said caused offence then that was not my intention.’
What a cop-out.
What should have been said was, ‘I’m sorry I used that expression, those words, that threat. I was wrong and I apologise. I won’t do it again. I hope you’ll forgive me.’
Two: I was making a casserole from a new recipe. It said add two sliced chorizo sausages. There were two in each packet so in the good old Aotearoa way I thought, four has to be better than two so I chopped them all up and chucked them in. Cooked the casserole. Left it in fridge for a day for flavours to permeate. Next day it smelled so good when heated up. Practically drooling, I sat down, grabbed a spoon, couldn’t get enough on a fork and stuck a big spoonful in my mouth. Bloody hell, someone call the fire brigade. As I sucked on two ice cubes, I made a vow. Either I make a larger casserole so it can take four sausages (along with the chilli in the recipe) or I just use what the recipe says.
Three: Using a stick is more complicated than you think. I mean there’s not much to it, right? You just stick your hand over the handle, move your feet, and you’re on to it, right? Wrong. When you use a stick there are things to remember. The most important one is:
You only have one hand to do everything else. You have to learn the moves if you want to go to the supemarket. I only need a couple of things, you think. Don’t need a trolley. Basket will do. Bad mistake. You’re carrying the basket in one hand and you’ve got the stick in the other so how are you going to pick things off a shelf or from the vegetable bins? Huh? Open the doors to the freezer? Oh, you think I’ll just lean the stick up against the shelf. Yeah right. The stick falls down, a man trips over it and out of his basket fall five million tomatoes. Some hours and a thousand apologies later, during which everyone in the world goes past and says ‘Hi Renée’ and grins, you realise you’ve walked (read limped) off, red-faced, and left the stick behind.
Then you have to find the bloody aisle where you left the bloody stick. I don’t know if you’ve ever walked around a supermarket saying to everyone passing, ‘Have you seen a white stick?’ but its not something I’d recommend. They get a funny look on their face and start going the other way or duck down the nearest aisle.
Life is not meant to be easy?
My mother got that one right.
