Kia ora koutou, I’ll be upfront. I don’t understand rugby’s appeal, I don’t understand its rules, I don’t understand why, as part of the game, what would be serious assault on the street, is not only condoned but seems to be encouraged on the field.
And I don’t understand why they’re so old-fashioned. This latest episode of homophobia in South Africa makes them look like they’re still back in the mentality of the 1950s where homosexual men were arrested and put in jail for having sex with a willing partner and where ‘real’ men could insult them with impunity, even encouragement, where ‘real men’ got drunk and groped girls and women, and worse, and nobody said a word because he was either your mate, or you were doing the same thing.
Yes of course there were exceptions or otherwise we wouldn’t have got the law reform. There were both male and female heroes (the indomitable MP Fran Wilde for example) who kept on fighting for our right to be seen as human beings just like everyone else, who had the same loves, desires and longings as everyone else. When we marched up Queen Street in 1986 there were many heterosexual people who marched with us, supportive, kind people, who took the same jeers and insults from those on the sidelines, but turned up the next time anyway because they saw a wrong that needed to be righted. This support happens in every community but in rugby, it seems to be we say one thing and do another.
When the players involved were doing the limp wrist and high voice act did any of their team mates step up and call time? Or had they heard the same ones do this routine before? Sure as hell this would not have been the first time. There would have been other, less public arenas, the changing room, someone’s sitting room, where these kind of comments were also made and were allowed or ignored because ‘we play rugby, we’re mates, right?’
Every step towards more intelligent, humane or even ordinary old kindness appears to have failed where rugby’s concerned. Here it is thirty–three years after Homosexual Law Reform and rugby players are still making disparaging comments and still insulting us. Words of inclusion and support flow from their Board members lips on public occasions but their players’ actions and words in private, in bars, in halls, in sitting rooms, tell a whole other story.
You have to ask why.
Maybe these players are so keen on being the fastest, the strongest, the most reliable one on the field that they end up being the most vicious, unkindest, dumbest, off the field?
Maybe they’re still living in the last century where All-Blacks could get away with any kind of behaviour because they wore the black jersey? And we’re all mates, right?
I know that an all–black embodies some sort of heroic dream figure for some followers of the game, I know not all of the players are homophobic, but hell, I’m absolutely sure that those men in that bar have relations and friends who are Queer and that these players are the last ones they’d go to if they were in trouble or needed help. Imagine being fifteen and having one of them for a rellie or even a neighbour?
Can we separate off–field behaviour from the on–field? Not really. Not now in 2019. Shouldn’t every rugby player, all–black or not, be ashamed that this kind of attitude is allowed to flourish anywhere? And isn’t it more than likely that these players had exhibited this kind of attitude at the gym, or rugby practice, as well as off-field in a bar in another country? What the hell were their mates doing?
That these players were from The Crusaders only adds to the shame. Here is a team (with a rainbow tick, (let’s not forget that), from a place where the most hideous, murderous, insane act killed fifty–one people and injured scores of others? Ruined countless lives. And where a few years before, serious, damaging, unforgettably violent earthquakes occurred? Those quakes ruined and damaged many many lives. Would this not be a place where the people who live there know the value of kindess? I’m certain most of them do.
So its time to stand up people. If rugby encourages, fosters, turns a blind eye, to this sort of behaviour then its time to have a serious look at the game. Serious action needs to be taken. Like sacking the ones who were responsible. It might not stop this sort of behaviour in every club but it would send a message that this is not acceptable in 2019.
The coach says his player’s behaviour was ‘misinterpreted’. The rugby leaders say they’ll hold an enquiry. And the report on behaviour in Parliament talks of harassment, bullying and sexual assault.
Why am I not surprised?
Renée
