Kia ora, I’ve been listening to the rants and raves re foreign drivers and thinking about my own experiences. For people who come from Taranaki, Auckland or Wellington, e.g. foreigners, I have some advice.
Before you come do your research, mate. We toot at everything round here and if you don’t toot, then don’t be surprised if you’re edged onto the side of the road and told about it. If you answer back, your keys will be taken.
We welcome visitors, we do, but just do your homework – when we pull out from a park with no indication or any other warning then don’t blame us if you get a few dents. What are ya?
We wave at everyone. We notice if you don’t wave back. We follow you and prod you over to the side and we ask you whatareya?
Occasionally we drive in the middle of the road – I mean everyone does it, you know how it is, you start thinking about what your auntie said about your weight and what you didn’t say which you should have said, that she’s a fine one to talk having topped the wool scales at god knows what number during shearing last year and you get a bit distracted and push the indicator the wrong way and your car clips our car. We’re true blue NZers round here so don’t complain if you get a punch in the face and your keys are taken.
We’re an understanding mob, we make allowance for momentary lapses but you drive into the car park by the library where I always park and game on, understand?
This is a country town and sure we have a few idiosyn – little ways – whatever – you might meet a few motorised scooters on the road. Yes, we know this is against the road rules that operate in other places but we make our own rules and we’re proud of that. And we keep to the left. Mostly.
Just because you can sit at a fancy table in Hawera and drink latte don’t think you can come here and expect us to bow and scrape – you want a coffee? Say so. We don’t go in for fancy names. Fancy names are for foreigners.
And just remember when you’re asked if you like our town you better say yes. We’re pretty easy-going but we don’t like smart-arse foreigners from Greenlane or Levin.
Do your homework mate, or you’ll never see your keys again. Just joking. We’re friendly lot. Really. We just not too keen on foreigners. Nothing personal – I’m sure Taradale’s a nice place and I’ve heard Pahiatua is really nice too.
Just be warned, you do anything we don’t like and your keys will be taken. But don’t be too worried. You ask us nicely and we’ll show you how to drive without keys. Most of us do that anyway.
