Yes, it’s Otaki Kite Festival this weekend but that’s not what I’m talking about. I got the piano just over a month ago. No, I can’t play a Chopin Prelude, but I do a pretty good demo of scales. The thing is, as you probably all know, you not only have to learn to read the hieroglyphics on the page and synchronise them with the notes on the piano, you have to use the correct fingers to do it. ‘If you don’t,’ a friend of mine said, ‘you’ll run out of fingers.’ Ha, I thought, but, as usual, friends are right.

Now I’ve learned to recognise the notes on the line and the notes in the spaces, and you’d think that would be enough. But no – I have to learn the value of each note. And I have to make myself use the correct finger?

‘Okay,’ I said, ‘let me get this straight. I have to identify the key I’m playing in, I have to read the notes on the lines and in the spaces, I have to give them the correct value, and do it with the right bloody finger?’ These comments were addressed to the piano so of course there was no answer.

This is what is called practice. That’s the noun. The verb is practise. The people from outer space who correct my spelling, seem to want me to use the verb as a noun but then they also voted in Trump so sucks to them.

‘I practised for five years before I played a whole piece of music,’ said someone.

Apart from the obvious (if I adopt this way of thinking I might never get to play a tune) I have decided that I will practise and at the same time also attempt to learn a tune. I’ve done it before on the ukulele. I know that if I just keep going something recognisable will emerge. I am a fan of rehearsal so practising’s not a problem but I also like to see results so any little step forward is a cause for celebration.

Getting the correct fingering is a real test of concentration. I have one finger which is so damn lazy it just wants to lie around making no effort at all and leaving it to the ones on either side. I’ve met people like this and no doubt you have too but I’m not allowing a finger to get away with it. I think this finger needs to be sent to boot camp so if anyone knows of a piece of music for second finger, left hand, please give me the title. However, as you know and I know, muscle memory will kick in eventually.

When I think that a month ago I knew absolutely nothing and now I know a tiny something, that’s progress isn’t it? Miniscule, yes, but I only have to please me, and I’m smiling, so something is working, right?